Polly pens a heartfelt tribute to another tragic end for a talented musician and singer, after the lead singer of rock band Linkin Park took his own life last week.
"Another day and the world loses another great talent. More sadly a loved husband, father of six children, and great friend. Chester Bennington lead singer of Linkin Park died today aged 41.
Chester Bennington was an addict. When he died at his own hands earlier today, I'm not sure if he was clean and sober or using, but as I explained to Granty this morning, both states can be dangerous for a recovering alcoholic/addict. There will be no addict who doesn't understand this double edged knife. Drinking or drugging for an addict, cleaning up and then relapsing is by all accounts soul destroying. Then if the addict falls in to a pattern of sobering up then relapsing they may start to believe they are 'no good' and the world is better off without them. Some addicts clean/sober up and then find living life on life's terms with no means of chemical escape, so depressing or agonising, that life is too painful to face. Some addicts get clean and then forget to keep doing the things they need to do to stay sober. Or they stay sober but only by will power and that can drive anyone to complete insanity.
So I'm not sure what drove this amazing man, who appeared to have the whole world to live for, to take his life in such a desperate and deliberate manner, but I do understand that getting sober can change people very quickly from feeling homicidal to suicidal. Relapsing can break a person's heart and spirit, and staying sober without support and a program can be living hell.
I guarantee he had family, friends, and fellow recovered addicts try to reach out to him, but his inner turmoil and darkness may well have engulfed and swallowed him by then.
I'm not sure what lies beyond, but I hope it doesn't involve resting in peace. I hope it involves freedom from the bonds of addiction and self hate, lots of music, laughter and incredible waves of relief for the suffering addict. Rock on Chester. Rock on."
If you wish to talk to someone about mental illness or domestic violence, you can call Lifeline on 0800 543 354, the Depression Helpline on 0800 111 757 or the National Telehealth Service on 1737.