Our well-loved, well-dressed, well-too-loud snorer Joe Cotton has (*spoiler alert*) made her exit in tonight’s episode of TVNZ2’s Treasure Island: Fans v Faves, losing in a match-point elimination to fellow celeb Art Green.
And while she may not have walked away with cash for her charity MND (Motor Neurone Disease New Zealand), she’s still done an amazing and memorable job advocating for them in her time on the show. You can donate to them now at mnd.org.nz (and tell them that Joe Cotton sent you!)
In tribute to Joe Cotton’s time on Treasure Island, we’ve put together our ten favourite moments of her on the show:
When Joe Cotton was a generous soul from the first challenge (Episode 1)
Some may call it cheating, some may call it sharing your knowledge. Joe started her Treasure Island journey by forgetting that she was in an individual challenge, and helped her fellow teammates cheat by giving everyone the answers. No one can fault that Joe was a team player from the get-go!
When Joe tried to pin her terrible snoring on Josh Kronfeld (Episode 2)
Joe Cotton - a woman with a beautiful voice and a horrific snore. And when she approached the firepit the night after their first camp sleep, she was quick to point fault at fellow celeb Josh Kronfeld. “I knew you’d try to bloody sidetrack it!” he told her.
When Joe gave Josh Kronfeld her TrueBliss tee (Episode 3)
If someone tells you they’re too tough and staunch for TrueBliss - they’re lying. Because ex-All Black Josh Kronfeld rocked his TrueBliss top as gifted to him by 90’s popstar Joe Cotton. “I didn’t know whether he was joking or not. The joke’s on him, because I HAD a singlet to give to him!”
When Joe realised slip and slides were not meant for her (Episode 5)
“Instantly I realise that there seems to be friction between my mammaries and the slip and slide… they just won’t move!”
As many of the contestants have said during their time on the show - Treasure Island challenges are challenges you can never practice for. But it’s fair to say that Joe would rethink any backyard slip-and-slide when her top decided to do its own slip-and-slide - off of herself.
“The more I inch myself forward, the more my swimsuit inches its way down!”
Every fashion moment Joe had on the island (basically every episode)
From rainbow socks, Harley Quinn makeup, full leopard print wear, romantic heart eyes and dramatic winged eyeliner - Joe served looks the entire season and proved herself to be the costume queen of Tresure Island.
When Joe and Alex gave everyone a dysfunctional family role (Episode 8)
After the teams merged, Joe and Alex had some time to realise everyone in the camp had the perfect role in their dysfunctional family. Camp Dad was Art, Camp Mums were Susan and Jane. The Embarrassing Uncle was taken by fan Wardie, while Matty was Gay Uncle. Annoying Brother and Sister were Lance and Alex. Lana was the “cousin you looked forward to hanging with when they're over.” Fan player Anna was the “sister who was good at everything”. The 'placid cousin singing carols' was Adam. And Joe - she's the drunk aunt you had to watch out for at Christmas.
Joe told Art about OnlyFans on their awkward not-romantic steak date (Episode 8)
In a bizarre romantic-looking date with the original Bachelor New Zealand, as they dined on steak and potatoes, Art was ready to talk strategy but Joe’s head was somewhere else - OnlyFans. “How can we make money off of Art Green?”
Art may be thinking treasure, but Joe’s truly thinking about the long game.
When Joe tried to get into Art’s head with her own tact-tits (Episode 10)
Art has his muscles, and Joe’s got her own assets to use! Even while in a 2-0 battle to Art Green, Joe couldn’t help to make everyone laugh when she jokingly “flashed” him her bra and said, “let me get one!”
When Joe made her elimination come down to a match point (Episode 10)
Joe’s flashing clearly worked against Art when she managed to claim two points in their elimination battle, showing that she refused to go down without a fight.
As Lana Searle accurately said of the moment: “It’s the resurgence of a legend - of late 90’s music!”
Every time Joe laughed (which was every episode)
From every Bree-made innuendo to the bizarre comedic moments in challenges - Joe Cotton’s laugh carries over the ocean waves and her loud snoring. It’s like the bright sunshine in the form of sound!
We’re tremendously proud of Joe Cotton and how far she got in Treasure Island this year! Please learn or donate to a charity close to her heart - MND (Motor Neuron Disease New Zealand) and support the great work they do for Kiwi families.