Well well well, it appears our very own Jay-Jay Feeney has become quite the master at solving some of your sticky situations.
In her new ‘Judge Jay-Jay’ column for Woman’s Day, Jay-Jay sorts out a tricky one about online trolls. With some of her own experience with keyboard warriors, she was more than happy to help out Rose from Auckland with her sticky sitch!
“Hey, Judge Jay-Jay! I need help advising my 15-year-old daughter,” Rose began.
“She's obsessed with Instagram and TikTok and is glued to her phone every spare minute. I know this is normal for a teenager, but I can see it's making her depressed. She is so concerned by how many "likes" her posts get and what people are commenting on, and she really takes it hard when she receives negative feedback.
I have tried to tell her to block those people and that likes online don't make you any more or less popular in real life, but she says I'm out of touch and don't understand. I've tried to ban her from social media and her phone, but the anger I get from her when I do isn't worth the trouble. Help me, please!”
SOURCE: Getty Images
Offering some great advice Jay-Jay responded: “Kia ora, Rose! This is a tricky one! But I bet every parent reading this can relate.”
She continued: “Think of your social media profile as your house. The people who follow you are guests. You wouldn't let people come into your house and insult you, so why would you let them do it online? Kick them out. They can insult you elsewhere, but never let them stay at your party. There is no shame or harm in clicking the block button. In fact, it can be quite satisfying!
Almost every person on social media has to deal with trolls or negative feedback at some point. Think about high-profile celebrities like Taylor Swift for example. People say mean things on her socials all the time, but they don't personally know her. They're probably extremely jealous of her. If Taylor listened to the trolls, she wouldn't be as successful as she is today, so she ignores them. And look who's winning – she is!"
SOURCE: Getty Images
Jay-Jay added: "Remind your daughter that people who say mean things are not her friends. They must be very unhappy in themselves to do such a thing. Happy people don't waste time making negative comments online. The only people whose comments she should take to heart are those of her actual friends and family. For example, if a random person named Jeff tells me I suck on the radio, that's his opinion and I can't change it. Nor do I care. Because I know I don't suck. The ratings prove that! But if my partner, friend or family member told me I sucked, then I would take notice.
But people you love would never do that unless it was necessary. So my point is, she should try to let any comments from people out of her inner circle roll off a duck's back and then block them. They do not deserve your online connection."
SOURCE: Getty Images
"As for the number of likes on a post, they are a measure of how much someone liked the photo, not how much they liked you. If you get 10 likes or a million on a pic, does that make you a better person? No. She needs to be herself, embrace herself and not let social media decide her worth," Jay-Jay finished.
If you want to hear more from Jay-Jay or have a sticky situation of your own, Woman's Day NZ is running a ‘Judge Jay-Jay’ column where she will help you through your biggest concerns.
It’s safe to say social media can be the trickiest of them all, but with that insight, I’m sure Rose isn’t the only parent taking something away from that advice!
