Jay-Jay Feeney has become quite the master at solving some of your sticky situations. In her new ‘Judge Jay-Jay’ column for Woman’s Day, Jay-Jay answers a tough question from a concerned parent who wrote in for advice on how to parent a young adult.
“Hi Jay-Jay, I have an 18-year-old son who lives at home and we have just helped him buy his first car,” the anonymous writer began.
They continued: “He, his dad (my ex) and I paid a third each. The car is in my name and under my insurance. He is currently on his learner's licence, but I have just discovered that he's been driving the car on his own! His dad says that since he is 18, he is not my problem or my responsibility any more.
Should we as parents still be parenting him in this and handing out punishment, such as taking the keys off him? Or jacking the car up and taking all the wheels off? Or should I listen to my ex?”
Offering some great advice Jay-Jay responded: “Kia ora, Anonymous! Parenting is tough. Especially in a situation like this.”
She continued: “Your son is a grown adult, but he is not acting appropriately. Here's my take on it - If your son still lives at home, and you and your ex own two-thirds of the car, and you are responsible for it since the insurance is under your name, then you have every right to "parent" your son on this matter.
If he wants to be treated with respect, he must show respect back and driving illegally puts all of you at risk, especially if he has an accident or, God forbid, hurts or kills someone. The insurance won't pay out if he's driving on his learner's licence.”
Jay-Jay added: “Tell your son this: While you and his father own a third each, and the car is under your name and insurance, then he must drive it legally and with care. If he doesn't comply, sell the car and give him back his share of the money. And then buy him a bus card!”
If you want to hear more from Jay-Jay or have a sticky situation of your own, Woman's Day NZ is running a ‘Judge Jay-Jay’ column where she will help you through your biggest concerns.
It’s safe to say parenting can be the trickiest of them all, but with that insight, I’m sure there are many parents taking something away from that advice!