Kiwi lists hilarious Trade Me auction of wedding dress "Worn once by mistake"

funny stuff 10/01/2018

A Kiwi woman is offering up her "worn once by mistake" wedding dress on Trade Me in hilarious fashion.

The Masterton woman is advertising a size 14 off-white bridal gown, and in the description asked bidders to "please help remove this dress from my life".

"It is in excellent condition - unlike my marriage. Pretty much brand new and ready for a legit wedding after a practise run back in 2013.

"Cannot provide measurements as this was custom-made for a little girl who thought she deserved less than what she was worth and she is now a strong woman - cannot measure up.

"It looks stunning on, enough so that it will distract you and your guests from the fact that you are marrying a compulsive liar."

The Trade Me user is looking for over $300 for the gown, "as this would pay for a year's gym membership for me to lose the kilos I put on from such a miserable marriage".

"Either that or a decent night out on the wines - both are needed - so make an offer!"

She says she's also willing to sell her wedding shoes, as "those aren't needed anymore either because I walked away with the feet I was born with and will keep moving forward with those".

"NOTE: Apologies for the photos of some of these - I have lost around 90kgs of baggage."

The auction closes on January 16. The dress has no offers so far.