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Parenting expert claims sharing is not caring and we should stop teaching it to our kids

Parenting expert claims sharing is not caring and we should stop teaching it to our kids

Not sure how we feel about this one...
17 August 2022 4:58PM

You know how our parents told us that “sharing is caring”? Now those are the same values we are passing on to our kids…

Well, stop! Because apparently, it is doing more harm than good.

Dr Laura Markham from Ahaparenting.com spoke with VeryWellFamily and said that as a parent you should never force your child into sharing, no matter how 'beneficial' you believe it to be.

From an early age, we teach our children to socialise, which of course, involves playing fair with other children.

Many parents seem to believe that sharing with others should be part of this, but specialists and psychologists now disagree with that concept.

The concepts of sharing, lending, and borrowing are said to be too complex for young children to understand.


Apparently, toddlers lack empathy and aren’t able to view things through the eyes of another child.

According to Dr Markham, forcing children to share with others could be teaching them the wrong lessons and result in them having more tantrums in order to get what it is they want.

If a child believes that screaming loudly implies they must share, they are more inclined to raise a commotion themselves.

Even if it’s not what the parent is intending to teach their child, it is frequently what the child remembers from the so-called 'lesson.'

Dr Markham also suggests encouraging self-regulation by letting children play freely and allowing children to decide when they are finished with a toy, which can result in a child who learns patience.

It can also teach a child to be able to handle more emotionally complex situations as they grow up.

She also highlights that children need to learn how to speak up for themselves in a kind and respectful way, rather than having adults always dictate things.

So there you have it.

Looks like I won’t be sharing the last of my chocolate tonight, as a lesson, of course…